Monday, September 10, 2012

A Romanticized Shield

Hello Beautiful

I sat outside a coffee shop in the center of town.  My iced chai tea ran low as open mic singers expressed their talents. Here I was reminded by a friend of an idea I had long since contemplated on relationships: responsibility.

The “church” (please note the informal lower case “c”) has long taught that dating is evil, one should court, guard your heart, guard the other person’s heart, kissing is bad, etc.  In general these are not bad ideas; but in taking them to a legalistic extreme we have caused more damage than good.  We placed the care of our connection on a set of guidelines and not on true relationship.  It is no wonder that most of our relationships—romantic, amicable, or familial—are in some state of brokenness.

My favorite is when someone tells me, “I don’t care what happens to me, I just want to guard their heart.”  What a crime to one’s soul.  Do you believe that an all-surpassing Love wants your heart trampled as you protect someone else?  God did not sent His Son to die for you so that you needlessly suffer your heart before others.   We have romanticized the idea of guarding another person’s heart.  It has been turned into a noble sacrifice we place on the altar of acceptance.  A sacrifice that was never in the plan.

I am clearly not condoning a flippant disregard for the emotions of another.  This is a reminder of your worth to your Creator.  In all your relationships, romantic or otherwise, you are only responsible for you (with some exceptions for children).  You only have control over your heart, your emotions, and your salvation.  When you pass from this earth you will answer for your life.  And yes, we will take responsibility for the things we did to others, but not their actions.  We need to cease taking responsibility for someone else’s heart when, if we are honest, we do not accept responsibility of our own. 

Each one of us holds a sword in one hand and a shield in the other.  One to fight, the other to protect. Shields are meant for the protection of one.  We cannot defend another without leaving ourselves exposed.  We can choose to team up our shields (marriage).  But to God you are worth more than just giving it away.  To Him you are beautiful.

No comments:

Post a Comment