Monday, October 17, 2011

Its over

Hello Beautiful

There is nothing that fascinates me more ethologically than the human ability to choose.  Not the simple choices of whether to eat when we are hungry or seek fire when it is cold.  It is the complex decisions that are required of humanity that separates us from animal.  This is a gift that was bestowed upon us.  And an untapped one.

We succeed at basic choices: nourishment, shelter, health, safety.  We are adequate at advanced decisions: education, career, marriage, religion.  Some can even make difficult resolves: break-up with a fiancĂ©, volunteer with the Peace Corp, sacrifice your safety for another.  When presented with a choice between a quantifiable number of options humans can select one.

Where we fail is when the choice involves not options, but a state of being.  The most popular phone call I receive by far is “I’m so over him!”  Usually fallowed by reasons why the guys is lame, how they are better than him, all the things they USED to love about him, and so forth.  My deeply insightful statement proceeding such a disgorge usually revolves around how my last band practice went. 

The shock is palpable even through the phone.  Meeting cares and tears with a complete change of subject feels like slapped rejection.  And just before I am confronted for my inability to counsel my friend I explain.  If we claim we are over someone, should we not be over them.  Making the decision to not be with someone is easy compared to living out the choice of being with no one.  But when we end a relationship (whether with a person or a candy bar) we cannot live our lives in the shadow of that thing.  It must vacate the recesses of our mind.

So often we look for self-help books, motivational sermons, a resurgence of will, or the dissolution of procrastination; when all we need to do is tap into our human ability to choose.  Greater than its decision making capabilities, this gift we posses helps us live out our choices.  Deciding to break up needs to be followed by choosing to be single. Don’t just decide to lose weight, choose to be healthier.  When you decided to get married you chose someone to be with.  When you decide to wake up, choose that you are beautiful.

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